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RIDDLES/JOKES
| Kiddies Page |
What ring is square?
Boxing ring
What runs fast and has no legs?
Water
What has 22 legs 2 wings but can't fly?
A football team
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shorts?
In case he got a hole in one
How can you tell which end of a worm is the head?
Tickle the middle and see which end laughs
What's the most athletic vegetable?
A runner bean
How should you hold a bat?
By the wings of course
Where do spiders play football?
At Webley
Did you hear of about the boxing chicken?
He was featherweight champion
Why are so many people crazy about fishing?
It's easy to get hooked on it
Can an elephant jump higher than a house?
Yes because a house can't jump
Where do ghosts go swimming?
In the Dead Sea
When are chess players happy?
When they take a knight off
Why is tennis such a noisy game?
Because every player raises a racket
Why did the football manager flood the pitch?
Because he wanted to bring on the sub
What will a toad ask a frog?
Shall we dance?
Why was the caterpillar late for the football match??
He was putting on his boots
An electric train is moving.
Where will the smoke go?
North or South?
I never said a steam engine
Footballers are always said to be cool. Why?
Because of the FANS
Which race is never run but always, won?
Swimming race
What might a woman lose and never know it's gone?
Her Beauty
A cock laid an egg between The Gambia and Senegal whose egg is it?
A cock cannot lay an egg
Which comes first, the egg or chicken?
No one knows
A plane crashes between The Gambia and Senegal.
Where will the survivors be buried?
Survivals! -They didn't die
Who runs a filling station and is collector of old magazines?
Dentist What do we call a sound sleeper?
Somebody who Snores
What has many keys but cannot open a door?
Piano
Pap's mother has three sons.
The 1st is called One Dalasi, the 2nd Two Dalasi.
What is the name of the last child?
-Pap
***HINT
-"Until the rotten tooth is pulled out, the mouth must chew with caution.”
-“ When rain falls on the leopard, does it wash off its spots?”
-“A chicken eats corn, drinks water,
and swallows pebbles, yet she complains of having no teeth.
If she had teeth, would she eat gold?”
-“Because the farm owner is slow to catch the thief,
the thief calls the farm owner thief!”
“-The mangrove tree dwells in water but does that make it a crocodile???”
“-The toad likes water but not when it is boiling.”
“ -When the frog in front falls in a pit,
others behind should take caution.”
“-When crocodiles eat their own eggs,
what will they do to the flesh of a crocodile???”
“-When the wood-insect gathers sticks, on its own head it carries them.”
Ola Rotimi
MUMMY'S BOY
One day a boy came home from school and found his mother cooking:
MUM: Musa, how was school today?
MUSA: Great! We treated additions and the teacher asked me,
"If I had 2 mangoes and added 5 mangoes, what I would I have?"
And I responded '7'.
MUM: Good, now let me ask you a question .
If you had 5 bananas and added 2 apples, what would you get?
MUSA: Sorry, mum but we only treated mangoes.
THE CLIENT
CUSTOMER: Does a man with as little hair
as I've got have to pay full price for the cut?
BARBER: Yes and sometimes even more.
We usually charge double when we have to hunt for the hair.
THE EMPLOYER
A bricklayer working on top a building carelessly dropped
a brick which landed on the head of his helper below
"You better be careful up there boss",
said the helper dusting his hat off. "you made me bite my tongue".
AT THE CINEMA
(FAT MAN IN A MOVIE, A LITTLE BOY STANDING BEHIND HIM)
FAT MAN: “Can’t you see little fellow”?
LITTLE FELLOW: “Not a thing”
FATMAN: “Then keep your eye on me and laugh when I do.”
TELEGRAM
MRS NJIE:“A mail from Modou, dear.”
MR NJIE: “Well, did he pass his exams this time?
MRS NJIE: “No, but he was almost at the top of the
list of those who failed.”
A GUEST
The visitor paid his bill at the hotel and as he went out,
he noticed a sign near the door,
“ have you left anything” so he went back and spoke to the manager.
That sign’s wrong, ” he said.
“It should have read, “Have you anything left”
TROUBLE
Two little boys were playing in a train.
The conductor said the children must behave or he would make trouble.
The boys' father said, "you don't know what trouble is.
My wife's mother is in the hospital.
I am on my way to the hospital to see my sick mother-in-law,
my daughter has had triplets ;
one of the boys has just smashed his finger,
and the other has chewed up our tickets .
To top it all we are on the wrong train".
QUESTION
TEACHER: “Now which boy can call me five things that contain milk?
MIKE: “Butter, cheese, ice-cream and two cows.
SPY
TEACHER:” Were you copying this paper?”
PUPIL: “No sir, I was only looking to see if I had mine right”
INSECT RIDDLES
What do you call a beetle born in May?
A Maybe
What is the definition of a caterpillar?
A worm with a fur coat
What do you call spiders who‘ve just got married?
Newly-webs
What’s the perfect present for a spider?
Four pairs of socks What do you call a happy flea?
A hoptimist What’s the biggest ant in the world?
A gi-ant What do you call a bossy ant?
A tyrant What do you call a crazy flea?
A loony tick
What happens when a flea is angry?
It gets hopping mad Why do bees hum?
Because they don’t know the words
What do you call a beetle from space?
Bug Rogers
What do ants take when they are ill?
Antibiotics
What do caterpillars do on New Year’s Day?
They turn over a new leaf
What did the fly say to the spider?
I’ll give you a buzz later